“Do I look okay?”I slowly recovered. I spoke very slowly. “No-o, you are much more than okay. Much.”Her smile became broader. “I don’t think anyone will buy into your foot feet tall with glasses and buck teeth description as this outfit makes the rounds. What are the odds that someone from the Geritol net will be there or knows someone who is there?”“Pretty high. You will get everyone’s attention tonight.”“Todd, I really want to get your attention.”“You have it, undivided.” My statement was heartfelt. She was beautiful, and hot.I smiled at her. I had stood when she entered the room. “Gail, all you will need is fifteen dollars and your driver’s license. I will need a club.”She giggled. I helped her with her coat. “Just a moment.” I ran into my bedroom and returned pulling on a blazer. I had even thought about a tie! I offered my arm and we went out to the garage. I touched the opener and assisted her into the passenger’s seat of my car. I walked around to the driver’s seat, got in,. A hot fuschia, metallicgold, a classic 50s style cherry red, and a deep brownish maroon colorall went quickly into the basket. I hustled out of the aisle, hoping noone saw me. The next aisle was haircare, and I grabbed a bottle ofshampoo to try to help camouflage my purchases, it didn't feel nearlyenough to outweigh the mass of femininity in the basket.Then I hit on an idea. The washing machine had eaten a hole in a pair ofboxers recently, and I was always wearing out socks while running. I'dhit the men's department and grab a few things, nothing would say "Dude"like novelty boxers and athletic socks. That part of the plan wentswimmingly. Things started falling apart as I walked out of the men'sunderwear section and directly into the women's underwear section rightnext door. Glancing around, I was still shocked at how cheap some of theitems were, even compared to the men's boxers I'd just picked up, therewere five and ten dollar items hanging every so often on the racks. .
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